Away

I’ve been away from here.

It’s always been in the back of my mind. To start making blog posts again. Have a reason to take pictures with my camera again. But the writing to go along with the pictures is difficult to extract from my brain. It’s so easy to come up with generic things to say. To write, yet another blog post that joins the never ending ocean of all the other blog posts out there that all sound the same. I want what I write to be interesting; to describe the atmosphere of the place I am posting photos of.

But what is the point? I am writing to no one? Does it matter?

Probably not.

Anyway. I went to California a few months ago and took a lot of pictures and need to do something with them other than putting them on my storage device. Hopefully I can come up with interesting words to describe the trip.

Tumbleweed

He flew out of a city truck going down the road. At first glance, it looked like a trash bag.

But it was a tiny kitten that tumbled down the road through the early morning traffic. He had climbed into the engine of the truck to keep warm.

His name was Tumbleweed.

Tumbleweed needed to be bottle fed since he hadn’t learned how to eat regular food yet.

He also enjoyed homemade meat soup..

He was a feral little guy, but the yummy food that was hand fed to him made him less nervous.

He was going to stay on the enclosed back porch that night, so the other cats wouldn’t freak out like they did last time they saw a different cat. But the thought of him out there was too sad, so inside he came!

He was afraid of every new sound he heard. He was also afraid if he was looked at for more than a few seconds.

A visit to the vet showed that he was healthy, except for a few intestinal parasites, and only around six weeks old.

We liked him too much to put up for adoption. Tumbleweed was here to stay! Hopefully his big brothers wouldn’t hate him..

Cloud was the first of the three cats to meet Tumbleweed since she is the most well adjusted.

She licked him clean, since he had never been taught how to do it himself.

He was like the son she never wanted.

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Jeeves was next, and then came Chester, who was very freaked out of his new little brother at first and would growl and hiss.

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It took a couple months before all three boys could be together without freaking out. And it happened on Christmas eve!  There were a couple random freak outs after that, but now all four cats are happily living together!

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Tumbleweed was a great little surprise!

Unexpected Arizona

I thought Arizona would be flat, and mostly brown.

I was wrong.

We woke up early to begin the long drive to Tucson from Holbrook. I wasn’t really looking forward to it because I thought the landscape wouldn’t be very interesting.

Around an hour into the drive is when we learned that Arizona has mountains. Really tall mountains.

The mountains on the Blue Ridge Parkway seemed like little hills in comparison.

We drove up and down these huge mountains.  Through the snowstorm at the top, then back down to calmer weather and then back up again into the snow.

It definitely was not the boring drive I was afraid of.

2020

2020

Leave the past decade behind.

 

Leave all the bad things;

the job that barely paid you, where your boss was a psycho,

the job that caused constant body pain, that stayed with you for years afterward

that coworker that tried to ruin your life

that project that did ruin your life, and drove you into madness

the people lost

the one you never got to meet

college

the teacher who was actually insane

the days wasted

 

Leave all the good things too;

buying a house

adopting pets

traveling to amazing places

finally finding a good job

growing a garden

 

Leave them all, and make room for new things.

 

Find happiness where you are now;

realize that some dreams can’t happen, and stop trying to reach them,

bringing more sadness when they get farther and farther away.

 

Don’t spend years chasing a life that may not be even better than the one you have now, And now you have all those years wasted, not enjoying the life right in front of you.

Forget about trying to find a job in a different city

in new york city,

toronto,

a city that will force you to work, just so you can barely live. All dreams of running your own little business will be gone.

 

Find ways to make the most of the life you have, instead of trying to find the kind of life that doesn’t exist.

Make Life a Party.

A Flower Cloud

Cloud sat posed next to the bouquet of flowers, with a look on her face like she demanded her photo be taken.

It’s good to stop and admire the flowers sometimes!

Flowers

Every year I like spring more and more.

It’s hard to stay sad when pretty little flowers are poking up through the ground, and the world explodes with color.

Polaroids Around the Old Tobacco Factories

This part of the city is changing fast.  What was once the busy industrial center that kept this city alive, had died and gone vacant.  No one dared wander these empty streets. Especially at night.

Nothing was around but an obscure coffee shop, that doubled as a music venue.  My friends and I would all pile into one car, park in a scary abandoned lot and run for our lives down the street to the safety of the coffee shop.

But now things have changed.  The old tobacco factories have been restored and turned into apartments, offices, research labs, restaurants and even a prestigious medical school has moved in.

I even managed to get a job working in this area.

A former sketchy area is now the cool new spot to be downtown.

That obscure coffee shop is now a popular place that also serves food, and is no longer a music venue.

I like to wander around and admire the changes.  I thought this would be the perfect place to use up a precious roll of expiring Land Camera film.

  An homage to the old days.

These photos were taken with one of my vintage Polaroid Land Cameras.

See my Polaroid Land Camera guide Here!

 

The Weird Day My Inspiration Returned

I was headed to my first therapy appointment. Nervous and anxious, but also a little excited. Maybe soon I’ll figure myself out.

I wandered through this strange building, unchanged since the 1980s, with a weird silence that filled the walls and narrow hallways, which were dimly lit by fluorescent light.

I didn’t dare take the elevator, in a building as strange as this.

Only three floors up.

The stairs were fine.

The building smelled old. No one else was around.

The door was so nondescript I nearly missed it. Just a brown door against a brown wall.  I went inside.

Filled out paper work, then sat and waited.

The fluorescent lights continued to hum and flicker above me, but the tiny waiting room was otherwise silent. I was the only one in there. Through the walls I heard faint conversations.

This place is supposed to help people feel better, but the atmosphere does the opposite.

Except for me. I like strange places like this, that feel like an altered reality. My nervousness disappeared and I quickly wrote down my thoughts.

My inspiration was coming back.

After being missing for so long. This was a feeling I’d almost forgotten about.   Maybe its return had something to do with 200 mg of Zoloft I had just been increased to the day before.

I’ve always wanted to capture certain strange feelings, and atmospheres.  I can take the photographs, but have never been able to put it into words. Something is blocking it.

But maybe now the block is falling away.

I want to record my life, not just the good parts, but all the parts. I love sharing pictures, but I don’t just want to dump a bunch of pretty pictures on a page with generic predictable words.

I want to capture what that day was like.

I feel like I’m finally starting to wake up, after being away for a long time, and I am excited to see what happens next.

 

Abandoned Interstate

Not often do you get a chance to walk on an abandoned interstate.

The highway that runs through downtown, that has tiny lanes and even tinier on and off ramps, that is always backed up with traffic, is being completely rebuilt with hopes of being greatly improved. And once it got demolished, I couldn’t help but go for a walk on what used to be one crazy road.

In the center divider, years and years of debris from so many accidents were scattered all around.

I’ve driven this road so many times.  It was strange to walk where it used to be, and imagine what it will become.

Weekly Journal- Goodbye Bathroom

Chester says goodbye to one of his favorite places to hang out, as this sink, and the rest of the bathroom, are about to be demolished completely. The process is supposed to take two weeks to complete.  And hopefully Chester likes the new sink just fine.

I moved to a new, and slightly larger desk at work, and gained a few more windows. I also finally obtained a second monitor, making my transition to a senior position complete. There had been quite a few depressed days at work recently, but luckily by the end of last week I was feeling a lot better. Hopefully it continues!

The fish tank is slowly filling up. I added some of my favorite fish, cory catfish, but they were apparently sick from the pet store because a lot of them didn’t make it.. Coming home from work three days in a row to find another cute fish dead didn’t do anything to help my sadness. But all the remaining fish seem healthy, now just to find them some friends to replace the ones now resting in my flower garden.

Well, the bathroom is getting destroyed this week. We have another bathroom, but that’s currently the one the cats use, and we have never used it before so that will be interesting.  It also doesn’t have a shower.  Luckily my mom lives just up the road!