The Weird Day My Inspiration Returned

I was headed to my first therapy appointment. Nervous and anxious, but also a little excited. Maybe soon I’ll figure myself out.

I wandered through this strange building, unchanged since the 1980s, with a weird silence that filled the walls and narrow hallways, which were dimly lit by fluorescent light.

I didn’t dare take the elevator, in a building as strange as this.

Only three floors up.

The stairs were fine.

The building smelled old. No one else was around.

The door was so nondescript I nearly missed it. Just a brown door against a brown wall.  I went inside.

Filled out paper work, then sat and waited.

The fluorescent lights continued to hum and flicker above me, but the tiny waiting room was otherwise silent. I was the only one in there. Through the walls I heard faint conversations.

This place is supposed to help people feel better, but the atmosphere does the opposite.

Except for me. I like strange places like this, that feel like an altered reality. My nervousness disappeared and I quickly wrote down my thoughts.

My inspiration was coming back.

After being missing for so long. This was a feeling I’d almost forgotten about.   Maybe its return had something to do with 200 mg of Zoloft I had just been increased to the day before.

I’ve always wanted to capture certain strange feelings, and atmospheres.  I can take the photographs, but have never been able to put it into words. Something is blocking it.

But maybe now the block is falling away.

I want to record my life, not just the good parts, but all the parts. I love sharing pictures, but I don’t just want to dump a bunch of pretty pictures on a page with generic predictable words.

I want to capture what that day was like.

I feel like I’m finally starting to wake up, after being away for a long time, and I am excited to see what happens next.

 

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3 thoughts on “The Weird Day My Inspiration Returned

  1. I remember reading this just before I needed a long internet break, and it was an inspiring entry that stuck with me. That’s why I am back and commenting about your feelings being totally relatable, especially this bit here, “I want to record my life, not just the good parts, but all the parts. I love sharing pictures, but I don’t just want to dump a bunch of pretty pictures on a page with generic predictable words. I want to capture what that day was like.”
    I like what you have been sharing and I think your blog has remained genuine among a sea of lost integrity.
    xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!!! That means a lot to me. I took a long break from posting because it seemed like no one was interested in genuine blog posts anymore, and it was disappointing. But I’m hoping to get inspired to write again. 🙂

      Like

      1. I totally get that, and I share that feeling, too, about blogs. I came back to blogging after a very long time away and was disappointed to find my favorite blogs had either been abandoned, moved to Instagram, or started chasing the “influencer” trend (which I am just not into). I miss the days of LiveJournal for sure, haha, and I’m searching out bloggers who still maintain some true identity in their posts. I am LOVING your blog and I hope you keep sharing your moments 🙂

        Like

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